For a narcissist, other people and their desires hinder getting the things they want, so they ignore everyone else, including their children, until they go away. Every conversation will be a battle over how he’s not doing enough or is making the wrong choices. If he’s spending more time with his kids, she’ll comment on how he’ll never move up in his career. If he just got a new job promotion, she’ll note how the extra responsibilities will cause him to neglect his family.

Cutting the Son DownĮven when everything is going swell for the son, a narcissistic mother will find a way to break his self-confidence. In any case, the narcissistic mother takes advantage of the son’s natural desire to make his mother happy, no matter how unreasonable she is being. Sometimes this will be financial, if the mother has fallen on hard times, or emotional, in which the mother guilts the son into showering her with praise. Sons will be reminded of what they owe the mother and the responsibilities he has to the family. Narcissistic mothers are fantastic actors when it comes to playing the victim. How does the Narcissistic family structure work? Getting Love Through Guilt Reading Suggestion: Narcissistic Family Dynamics. Anything that will foment jealousy between the children is fair game. When a son is doing well in school, the mother will point out how popular their siblings are and vice versa. Narcissistic mothers are adept at pushing their children’s right buttons to sow discontent. Narcissists also like to compare their children and play them off of each other to maintain a position of power. Narcissists like to make comparisons, usually favorable ones between themselves and those they see as less than them. She’ll blame her for his lackluster performance whenever the son fails, but when he succeeds, she’ll take all the credit. Sons of narcissistic mothers are expected to receive excellent grades, be the captain of their sports team, and be a part of the highest social circles.Īnything less reflects poorly on the mother and challenges her inflated self-image.

She has a very high opinion of herself, which bleeds over into expectations for her son. Narcissistic mothers see themselves as the best at everything: the most beautiful, the most talented, the most intelligent, and most importantly, the best mom. The parenting style of narcissistic mothers can be acutely damaging sons experiencing years of emotional abuse are less likely to find a loving partner, maintain a healthy relationship with that partner, or be able to empathize with their own children.ĭamage is inflicted through many forms, but all are directed towards the same goal, providing the narcissistic mother with more supply.īelow are some of the most common ways narcissistic mothers manipulate their sons. Women raised by a narcissistic mother will have an insecure attachment style, usually anxious/ambivalent (preoccupied),” added Amanda when BP pondered about the possible impact of growing up with such a parent.How Do Narcissistic Mothers Affect Their Sons? They may not necessarily be conscious of these feelings, but the feelings of inadequacy will underpin much of their decision-making and their behaviour in relationships. They often don’t believe they deserve to be treated well, as they can have an underlying sense of themselves as somehow worthless or defective. They can sometimes become involved with narcissistic men or women and remain in abusive relationships as they don’t understand how healthy relationships work. They will often have problems with relating to others and can become ‘people pleasers’ lacking boundaries and the skills to assert themselves at home or at work. This can manifest in a lack of direction, relationship issues, career trajectory or instability. Children raised in this environment will have issues around their sense of self, often developing into serious identity problems later in life. “Narcissistic parents can traumatise children (depending on the severity of their narcissism).

Growing up with a narcissistic mother